ADHD Coping Strategies for Adults (Holiday Edition)
We all know the holidays can be a very stressful time. They can be a wonderful and stressful time.
Many of the things that make it wonderful can also make it stressful, and this might be especially true for people with ADHD.
For example, having time off from work or other responsibilities is wonderful! But it also changes routines and can make the time before or after those days off feel more stressful. The schedule changes and increase in stress can be difficult for anyone to manage, and they can be especially difficult for those of us with ADHD due to difficulties with emotional regulation and other executive functioning skills.
People with ADHD commonly experience mental or emotional overwhelm and overstimulation. Both of which, understandably, seem to be experienced at greater frequency around the holidays.
ADHD overwhelm can look like getting stuck or frozen, which can present as procrastination or feeling unable to start or finish a task.
It can also look like getting easily frustrated or irritated by seemingly small triggers and feeling mentally or physically exhausted as a result.
This overwhelm might be brought on by having too many tasks to do or too many decisions to make or by experiencing too much sensory stimulation at once, which is also known as sensory overload or overstimulation.
Here are some ADHD self-care and coping strategies to help you manage (and maybe even enjoy!) the holiday season:
Plan Ahead
Time distortion is a common experience for those living with ADHD, and this can add to stress around the holidays by waiting until the last moment to buy gifts or make holiday plans.
With time distortion, you have trouble completing a task if the deadline is too far in the future, or if there's no deadline at all.
With the holidays, at least there is usually a timeline of some sort.
You need to buy the gift by a certain day or show up to the party at a certain time.
But when those dates are too far in the future, you might find that you often end up waiting until the last minute to buy a gift or show up late to the party, which often causes stress and anxiety (and can have a negative impact on your self-esteem) leading up to the deadline.
So, one self-care tip that can help is to set shorter deadlines for yourself.
For example, if you need a gift to give to someone on Christmas Day, set a deadline of December 15th to reduce stress, ensure you buy the gift ahead of time, and don't feel like you're left scrambling at the last moment.
*Pro tip: You can also set a deadline for when the gift needs to be wrapped, so that’s not on your plate until the last moment, too!
When you can, plan ahead to make a schedule for yourself. This can be especially helpful in creating some structure for yourself during a time of year that is often out of routine with busier schedules and days off.
Set Boundaries
Consider how you experience sensory overload or overstimulation when setting boundaries for yourself.
This can look like:
Staying at crowded places, like holiday parties, for only a certain amount of time
Wearing noise canceling headphones in noisy places with a lot of conversation and or loud music
Going shopping during less popular times
Because routines often get thrown off around the holidays, trying to stick to your routines as much as possible can be another important and helpful way to set boundaries.
This might look like saying no to or leaving early from the weekday holiday party because it would keep you up late on a work night.
Be Kind to Yourself
It's not uncommon for people with ADHD to struggle with negative self-talk and low self-worth.
This can be due to the fact that we are living in a world with expectations that aren't realistic for how our brains work, which can leave us feeling inadequate.
For example, maybe your family is pressuring you to spend more time with them over the holidays because "everyone else will be there" but you know that you will start to feel very overwhelmed and irritated if you spend more than a certain amount of time with them.
Or maybe you feel the pressure to have your decorations put out and put away by a certain date, and you feel down on yourself when you don’t meet those deadlines.
*Pro tip: Your an adult now and there are no rules to say when you should have them up or when you need to take them down. You’re allowed to do what works for you and makes you happy. If you live with others who have different wants or expectations from you, try to compromise and work together to set up/take down the decorations.
Remembering that you are doing what's best for you, meeting your needs, and taking care of yourself can be helpful ways to practice self-compassion and reduce added stress and pressure in an already overwhelming time of the year.
Remember Your Strengths
Don't forget to lean into your strengths.
There are many strengths that come with ADHD, and although they differ for each individual, some of the common strengths include creativity, adventurousness, and resourcefulness.
Your creativity can shine in the gifts that you give to others. Your adventurous nature can come in handy with planning fun activities to look forward to during the holiday season.
Take some time to reflect on your strengths and how those strengths can help you take care of yourself this holiday season.
Final Notes
This holidays are a wonderful, yet stressful and overwhelming time of year, maybe in particular for people with ADHD.
Difficulties with emotional regulation, time distortion, and sensory overload can all contribute to greater challenges for those with ADHD during the holiday season as we face routine changes, loud and busy shopping centers, social pressures, and more.
To help cope with these added seasonal stressors, you might try planning ahead, setting boundaries, being kind to yourself, and leaning into your ADHD-related strengths (we all have them!).
Try some or all of these strategies, along with any other techniques you already use, to help manage holiday stress, so you can truly enjoy the holidays in whatever way that looks like for you.
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If you experience anxiety, chronic self-doubt, people pleasing, and/or perfectionism and maybe have a history of complex trauma, you’re not alone. It can feel like you are, but I can tell you from personal and professional experience, you are not. To gain support from others who have had similar experiences, my virtual Tame Your Mind group is here to support you.
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Read more: How to Manage Holiday Stress
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