Why Do I Feel More Anxious After Starting Therapy?
You’ve been thinking about starting therapy for awhile or maybe you’ve been in therapy before and you’re ready to return to it.
You’re excited, nervous, and all of the other emotions you might have leading up to your first session with a new therapist.
You feel like things went well. You go back and they go well again.
But you start to notice that you feel more anxious. Maybe the day of or the day after therapy. Or maybe you start to notice that you feel more anxious in general.
And then you question whether therapy is working or not. You feel more anxious, so that must mean something’s wrong, right?
I wrote this blog to assure you that this is a common experience to have and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong.
In fact, it might even mean that you’re making positive changes.
When is it not a good thing that I feel more anxious after therapy?
There are some instances in which it is not a good thing to feel more anxious right after your therapy sessions or in general after starting therapy.
One of those instances is that it can be a sign that things are moving too quickly in therapy.
You or your therapist may be pushing the pace too fast for your nervous system to handle by pushing you out of your window of tolerance and into fight or flight mode.
This might look like:
Diving into trauma work too quickly
Sharing more than you’re ready to share
Accessing uncomfortable emotions too often, too quickly, or for too long (these emotions are best accessed slowly and for gradually longer amounts of time to safely build your tolerance to feeling them)
If you feel like any of these could be true for your experience, or even if you’re feeling unsure about it, I strongly encourage you to talk to your therapist about it before you consider ending therapy with them. With a good therapist, these are issues that can be addressed and resolved.
When is it a good thing that I feel more anxious after therapy?
On the other hand, it can be actually be a good thing if you notice that you’re feeling more anxious.
It can be mean that you are starting to “feel your feelings.” You’re awareness is increasing and you’re able to notice how you feel when you’re feeling it, so you can feel, notice, and name the emotion that you’re feeling in the moment.
This is a great thing! Feeling all of your emotions, the positive ones and the uncomfortable ones, is healthy and it also means that you, and your body, feel more safe.
When you’re not feeling safe, such as when you’re in survival mode, you might develop protective coping skills that block you from feeling your emotions through dissociation or other disconnection from yourself.
So, being able to feel more of your emotions again can be a good sign that you are feeling safe enough to do so and you’re able to be more connected to yourself and your inner world.
It also might not necessarily be that you’re experiencing more anxiety. It might be that it’s the same amount of anxiety but you’re feeling more of it (like was true for me, as you’ll read below).
Even if you suspect that feeling more anxious might be due to a positive change for you, it is still a good thing to discuss with your therapist.
Knowing that you’re experiencing this growth helps guide your treatment in a way that can best help meet your personal goals, and we (therapists) love to celebrate your progress with you.
My Experience
About six months after I started EMDR therapy, I began feeling more anxious than I had ever felt before.
I was having trouble sleeping consistently, my heart was racing more often and sometimes randomly, and I even felt like I was going to have a panic attack, which I had never felt before.
So, I started asking myself all of the questions: Am I doing too much at work? What can I cut down on to make life less stressful? Did I eat/drink enough today? Why am I feeling so anxious???
There was no good answer to those questions; until I thought to myself, what if I’m feeling this way because of therapy?
And it was like a lightbulb went off.
Prior to starting EMDR, I had been in therapy before but had not really done any trauma work. Yes, therapy was helpful with managing life stress but it hadn’t helped me address my complex trauma.
EMDR was different. It helped me heal, feel, and recognize how much I hadn’t been feeling my emotions in the past (which was a surprise to me at the time).
I had been in survival mode for so long that it had become my norm. Not feeling the full range of my emotions had become normal.
So, with these realizations, it made sense that I was feeling more anxious than before.
The anxiety was always there, but somewhere along the way, I shut off access to it because I had learned that feeling wasn’t safe.
But I started to feel again, for the first time in a long time, and although that didn’t feel great at first, it helped to know that it meant that I was making progress.
I spoke to my therapist about it and adjusted how I took care of this newly felt anxiety by being more intentional about using healthy anxiety management skills.
Final Notes
Feeling more anxious after starting therapy can be a jarring experience, but it is not necessarily a negative sign.
It can be a sign that things are moving too quickly in therapy, and your nervous system may move into a state of fight or flight.
However, it can also be a sign of growth. You may be feeling more anxious because you’re feeling safe enough to feel your emotions, you’re gaining more awareness, and you’re becoming more connected to yourself and your inner experience.
Whether you feel like it may be a sign that things are moving too quickly or a sign of growth, I recommend talking to your therapist about your experience so that you can work together to change course or acknowledge and celebrate your progress.
Support for Women: Tame Your Mind group
If you experience anxiety, chronic self-doubt, people pleasing, and/or perfectionism and maybe have a history of complex trauma, you’re not alone. It can feel like you are, but I can tell you from personal and professional experience, you are not. To gain support from others who have had similar experiences, my virtual Tame Your Mind group is here to support you.
Past group members have expressed that the validation, understanding, and support they received in the group was life-changing for them. Reach out today to join the next session starting January 2025, available for women in Wisconsin, Florida, Utah, and Vermont.
Read more: Where to Get EMDR Therapy
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