Thoughts on ‘Love Island USA’ From a Therapist
If you’re a person who has been on the internet or social media at any point over the past 6 weeks, you’ve probably seen something about Love Island USA (whether you wanted to or not).
For those who don’t watch Love Island USA, it is a highly popular reality competition show that streams on Peacock.
It became especially popular during and after the last season of the show, and that popularity carried over to the newest season that just ended earlier this week.
With that popularity came a few new things worth exploring.
The Ugly Side of Social Media
Love Island is unique in that the audience has a say in what happens on the show.
Because the show is happening in real time rather than being filmed months before it’s released (viewers see what happened about 24 - 48 hours earlier), the audience has the opportunity to vote for their favorite islander or favorite couple at various points throughout the show.
This is a brilliant way to get viewers invested in the show, and for the most part, it seems like it has been a positive thing.
However, this season seemed to bring out an uglier side with an increase of unhealthy social media behavior.
Misuse of Terms
As someone who works in mental health, I have mixed feelings about social media.
The inclusion of mental health accounts on social media has many positives, including:
Allows people to access mental health information who may not have the means to access it otherwise
We all benefit when more people are educated about mental health
But with more people having access to the information, as you’ve probably seen, there is also a lot of misinformation that is spread, as well.
One common thing that seems to happen is the misuse of psychology terms.
On Love Island USA this season, the terms love bombing and trauma bond were used a lot and, at times, incorrectly by both the people on the show and people on social media who were talking about the show.
Love bombing is often misused when a person may be showing genuine, albiet sometimes intense, affection (and I get it, it can be hard to tell the difference between that and love bombing sometimes).
However, love bombing includes behaviors like excessive compliments, violating boundaries, and prying into your personal details, and intention matters.
With genuine affection, the intention is not to manipulate. With love bombing, the intention is to manipulate and often leads to other manipulative behaviors and an unhealthy, potentially abusive, relationship.
The actual definition of love bombing is: the action or practice of lavishing someone with attention or affection, especially in order to influence or manipulate them.
Trauma bond is another term that is very frequently misused when two people are bonding over sharing their individual trauma experiences with one another or having similar trauma experiences in their pasts (e.g. two friends who both grew up in abusive environments are incorrectly believed to have a “trauma bond”).
The actual definition of trauma bond is: a strong emotional attachment between a person and their abuser.
Unfortunately, these incorrect uses get spread around quickly due to the widespread use of these terms on social media, which serves as a good reminder to be discerning and mindful of who you get your mental health information from on social media (and elsewhere) to make sure it is quality information.
Not Viewing Reality Show Contestants as Real People
Yes, even reality shows are not really real.
They’re still heavily produced and sometimes even scripted.
But that doesn’t mean the people on the show aren’t real.
They are very much real, but I noticed a somewhat disturbing trend on social media throughout this season.
Some of it was (unfortunately) nothing new, but it did seem to be more severe.
In the comments on the shows page and under any other post that was about the show or the contestants on the show, people said incredibly mean and insensitive things about the contestants. When people expressed different or opposing opinions, people in the comments were equally mean and insensitive towards each other.
There were some comments that referred to the contestants as “Sims” (as in the popular life simulation game).
Although it was likely meant to be funny, I think it also speaks to how people tend to view reality stars, especially on a show where the audience has some control over what happens.
Contestants were labeled all kinds of derogatory things and received death threats and threats about calling ICE (US Immigration and Customs Enforcement) on their families.
The producers and others behind the show must have noticed something different going on throughout this season, as well, because they put out at least two announcements to the audience about bullying and being kind.
Bully/cyberbullying is dangerous for everyone. It can cause trauma. It can even contribute to self-harm and suicide. Two former contestants of Love Island UK have completed suicide, and it is believed that there was a connection to the show and the consequent cyberbullying they experienced.
Authenticity Wins Every Time
A large part of my life and my therapy practice is dedicated to authenticity.
In a world that often makes us feel like we need to hide the most tender parts of ourselves (usually the goofy, vulnerable, sensitive, etc. parts), it takes work and courage to be authentically yourself.
I strive to be fully me whenever I can and to help my clients do the same.
And my favorite part of Love Island USA Season 7 is that the winning couple included a woman who was her full self - the one and only Amaya Papaya.
Was she perfect? No. Did she make mistakes? Yep.
And you know what, so many people loved her!
They loved her goofiness, the way she said words just a little off-kilter (“opportunily,” anyone?), ran around the villa with zoomies, and marched to the beat of her own drum.
She referred to herself as a “sensitive gangster” and said important things for everyone to hear like “Sometimes I’m not the book that someone should be reading, and that’s ok” (meaning not everyone will like her and that’s ok!).
She went through a number of couplings on the show with men who did not understand her.
They felt she was too much in one way or another or just didn’t click with her (you might be able to relate to those experiences, I know I can).
Finally, she found someone who seemed to understand her. Someone who didn’t make her feel like she was too much, who told her that he liked her because she was authentic and real.
Although they had only been together for a short time before the show ended and they may not stay together long-term, I think that was an important experience for Amaya to have and important relationship for all of the viewers to witness.
Final Notes
The popular reality show Love Island USA became even more popular during the latest season, which brought an increase in unhealthy social media behavior with it.
This behavior included spreading the misuse of psychology terms, like love bombing and trauma bond, and not viewing reality show contestants as real people, which led to extreme cyberbullying.
Make sure to pay attention to who you’re getting your mental health information from online to ensure it is quality information.
On the flip side, this season of the show also presented viewers with a wonderful example of authenticity and how that is beneficial and that it’s possible to find someone who likes you for who you really are.
When in doubt, remember that finding and being your authentic self is one of the best things you can do, first and foremost, for yourself and also for your relationships with others.
Support for Women: Tame Your Mind group
If you experience anxiety, chronic self-doubt, people pleasing, and/or perfectionism and maybe have a history of complex trauma, you’re not alone. It can feel like you are, but I can tell you from personal and professional experience, you are not. To gain support from others who have had similar experiences, my virtual Tame Your Mind group is here to support you.
Past group members have expressed that the validation, understanding, and support they received in the group was life-changing for them. Reach out today to join the next session starting September 2025, available for women in Wisconsin, Florida, Utah, and Vermont.
Read more: How to Build Better Relationships
Related Resources: