Grief & Coping in 2020
One way to describe 2020 is: grief.
There are so many reasons you might be experiencing grief this year:
Maybe the pandemic caused you to work or attend school from home and you miss your coworkers / friends.
Maybe you have even lost your job, housing, or financial stability.
Maybe your relationships with others have changed due to not seeing or talking to them as often (or maybe for people living with others, spending too much time together!).
Maybe your relationships with family or friends have changed due to vastly different values when it comes to social issues, such as racial / gender inequalities or discrimination.
Maybe you had to postpone or completely change plans for a big event, such as your wedding, honeymoon, or graduation.
Maybe you know someone who has passed away due to Coronavirus or any other cause.
Maybe you are grieving the deaths of someone who you did not know, such as Kobe Bryant, Chadwick Boseman, Breonna Taylor, or George Floyd.
All of these situations (and more) can elicit grief. Grief is a natural response to a loss, and it is also a complicated and unique experience for each of us.
With the recent death of Chadwick Boseman, I’ve heard people feel confused or even shame themselves for grieving the deaths of people they had never met.
The photo below beautifully describes a few reasons why this might happen.
How to cope with grief
Don’t ignore the feelings or pain you are experiencing.
Acknowledge all of the emotions that come up and that it can bring up unexpected emotions. It may be sadness, fear, anger, disappointment, anxiety.. whatever you’re feeling, allow yourself to feel it.
“Ride the wave.” It can be helpful to think of grief as a wave - comforting to remember that the crashing, heavy emotions will not last forever.
Remember you can handle this. Even if you have not felt grief before or it feels “impossible” to endure, it is a normal response to loss that our minds are built to handle.
Seek support from friends, family, therapy, local or online support groups.
Be kind to yourself. Grief can be a difficult and exhausting process. Remember to take care of yourself physically, too. Take naps, eat nutritious foods, drink lots of water, exercise when you can, etc.
Remember that what you’re feeling is normal.
In a recent Instagram post, I wrote about common humanity as one of the components of self-compassion. I believe that applies here, too.
To grieve is to be human. It means you are feeling. It means you have loved or connected with someone or something.