Loneliness
Isolation and loneliness. Two words that have been talked about very frequently over the past month or so. Understandably, as we move through our 4th week of the Safer at Home order, as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, here in Wisconsin (and I know in some places it has been in place even longer!). This is a new way of life for all of us and some, especially those who may live alone or may live in an unhealthy environment, are experiencing the uncomfortable feeling of loneliness more often and more intensely.
As humans, we need social interaction. As much as some of us don’t want to believe or admit that (myself included at times), we do. It is a primal, survival need. It is only natural that we would feel bouts of loneliness or have thoughts about loneliness.
There have been many different ways identified to help us feel less lonely or manage our feelings of loneliness when they do come. Here are my thoughts on the subject:
Reach out! I am a strong believer in our thoughts, mood, and behavior impacting one another - either positively or negatively. If we begin to feel lonely, we may start to think that we are unlikable or not worthy of the attention of others. If we start to have these thoughts, we are likely to feel more lonely, sad, anxious, and possibly depressed. As we start to feel that way, we will likely isolate ourselves and be less likely to reach out to others because - why bother? The way out of this thought-emotion-behavior cycle? Change your thought or behavior patterns.
Reframe your thoughts - Try journaling your thoughts. Once these thoughts are written down, you can notice them, acknowledge them, and create alternative thoughts for yourself. It is also important to process these thoughts to discover patterns within your feelings of loneliness and other possible feelings that may be hidden underneath the loneliness (sadness, depression, anxiety, low self-esteem).
Do the opposite action - Instead of isolating, reach out. Reach out to a friend, family member, neighbor, coworker, therapist - someone, anyone (except for ex-significant others - don’t go there!). It doesn’t have to be a long, profound conversation. Just a simple check-in can help get the ball rolling to turn your cycle around.
Create a plan for yourself - If you have noticed yourself becoming more lonely in the evenings, plan to reach out to a friend at least a few evenings each week. If you have noticed yourself becoming lonely while using social media, reduce your time on social media and find a healthier alternative.
Therapy - If you’re not actively involved in therapy, give it a try. If you are actively involved, feel free to bring this up in a session. Therapy can be a great and important outlet to explore and process your feelings of loneliness.
Experiencing feelings of loneliness is normal. Like a wave of any other emotion, acknowledge it, validate it, and let it flow through you.