How to Spot Signs of Anxiety in a Loved One
Anxiety has been named the most common mental health condition with an estimated 284 million people experiencing an anxiety disorder worldwide*. This statistic is from 2017, so my guess is that with the COVID-19 pandemic, along with many other world events that have taken place since then, that number may be even higher now.
With that said, it is likely that you know, or have known, someone who is experiencing an anxiety disorder. Some amount of anxiety is normal, but an anxiety disorder is diagnosed when someone is experiencing significant symptoms that are interfering with life in some way, such as having a negative impact on their relationships, work or school performance, or completing daily activities.
If a loved one is experiencing anxiety, would you know? Anxiety can present itself in so many different ways, and if you are not aware of the many ways it can show up, you may not recognize that someone close to you is experiencing anxiety.
Here are some ways you might be able to tell that your loved one is experiencing a heightened level of anxiety. It is not comprehensive by any means because there are so many different ways that anxiety can present itself, and there are many different types of anxiety disorders that have their own unique set of signs and symptoms, such as obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, anxiety related to trauma, and more. However, it is a list that may help you better understand your loved one, which can help greatly improve your relationship with them and potentially help them get the support that they need.
Signs You May Recognize As Anxiety
Some common signs and symptoms of anxiety include:
Excessive worries
Being irritable
Shortness of breath
Changes in eating patterns
Restlessness; difficult to relax
Frequent headaches or stomachaches
Difficulty concentrating or trouble with memory
Difficulty falling or staying asleep or having restless, poor quality sleep
Signs You May Not Recognize As Anxiety
Indecisiveness
Your loved one may have difficulty making decisions, seek the opinions from others to help make their decision, or find themselves questioning the decisions they have made.
Seeking Reassurance
Speaking of seeking opinions, you may also notice your loved one seeking reassurance from you or others, a lot. Due to the excessive worries, indecisiveness, and distorted thinking patterns that can come along with anxiety, they may seek reassurance from you to help reduce the anxiety they are feeling.
Avoidance
Avoiding people, places, or situations that make them feel anxious is another common sign.
Brain Fog
If you’re loved one talks about feeling “out of it,” having memory or concentration problems, being confused, or lacking mental clarity, they may be experiencing brain fog.
Other Physical Symptoms
Some that are lesser known physical symptoms and sensations that can be related to anxiety include a sensation of tingling under the skin and gastrointestinal issues beyond stomachaches, such as irritable bowl syndrome.
Seeking Control
If you feel like your loved one is “controlling,” they may be experiencing anxiety. Seeking control is not always a manifestation of anxiety, but it most certainly can be. For someone who is anxious, gaining a sense of control can be a way of reducing uncertainty and soothing the anxiety; however, unfortunately, it is often one of the symptoms that tends to interfere with their relationships with others by unintentionally pushing others away.
Perfectionism and Procrastination
Your loved one may appear very rigid or picky. They may not respond well to change or uncertainty. You may also notice that they often procrastinate - maybe they consistently finish homework the night before it’s due or repeatedly put off starting a new habit or project.
What To Do Now
If you are noticing any of these signs in a loved one, try bringing them up in a compassionate and understanding way. Your loved one may not be aware or they may not know how to change what they are experiencing, just having an open and loving conversation about it may be helpful. If they ask for further support, you could point them in the direction of seeking help from a trained professional.
It can be difficult to not want to change things for your loved one because you can see how much better or easier their life would be if they weren’t doing such and such. However, it remains true that you can’t help someone who does not want help or isn’t ready for it. It’s also important to remember that you are not responsible for your loved one making changes or not. It can be challenging but try to remain patient and loving, so that your loved one knows that you are there to support them in whatever way they choose to address the anxiety they’re facing.
If your loved one has a negative response to you, this may be a sign that they are:
Feeling overwhelmed, defensive, or judged
Aware of the difficulties but unsure how to make it better
Not ready for change
This doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong. If you approached them with love, compassion, and understanding, you have done your part. The next step may be to give them some space to process everything and allow them to decide the next steps that are right for them.
*https://ourworldindata.org/mental-health#:~:text=The%20prevalence%20of%20anxiety%20disorders,mental%20health%20or%20neurodevelopmental%20disorder.