You’re Anxious, Me Too!: The Anxiety of Returning to “Normal”
Since March 2020, you have probably spent months (or even over one year) isolated from friends, loved ones, and or coworkers.
Socialization changed a lot.
Aside from those in your household, most social interactions were held via Zoom or a similar platform.
Even appointments of all kinds - from doctors to mental health to physical therapy - have been held virtually.
Work and school environments changed a lot.
The interaction with coworkers and peers was suddenly very limited and involved virtual meetings with limited time allowed for casual talk.
Work / school might be where you engage in most of your socialization. So, without this outlet, you have been left with a void in your social need.
It is now May 2021 - over one year after this all began here in the United States.
Many people have received the vaccine and are feeling more comfortable getting together with family and friends.
Schools are offering the choice for families to send their kids back to in-person classes.
Work places are offering for their employees to return to the office.
Things are seeming to return to “normal” and that’s a good thing - right?
This is what many people, maybe you included, have been waiting for. A sense of normalcy.
And I do think it is a good thing, even a great thing in some aspects.
But, it’s not all sunshine and roses, and that’s ok! I think it’s important that we recognize that this change, while positive in some ways, is also difficult in some ways.
Many clients and other people in my life, myself included, have expressed some discomfort or lacking excitement as we continue on this path to normalcy.
This caused me to think about a number of factors at play that may make it a little more difficult than anticipated.
We are adaptable.
As humans, we all have the ability to adapt. It’s a survival strategy that humans have needed for generations. But, like with most things, this lies on a spectrum and we don’t all adapt in the same way.
While some people are eagerly moving back into the “normal” world of socialization, it seems that there are many other people who may have adapted to the muted social life of the past year and are now experiencing an increase in stress / anxiety with the thought of integrating back into socializing with anyone outside of their quarantine circle of friends and family.
Being able to acknowledge where you *currently fall within this spectrum may help you cope with this transition to “normalcy.”
*Where you fall on the spectrum can change, as well, due to any number of factors. This is ok and normal.
We are in the same storm with different boats.
You’ve probably heard or seen a version of this saying somewhere over the past year.
Although we are all going through the same pandemic, we have all been in very different boats.
Some people have been severely affected by the pandemic - with lost jobs, lost loved ones, significant increase in mental health symptoms - and others have not been affected as greatly.
Even where we live has had a pretty significant impact on the boats we have been floating in. Whether your city / state has been more strict or lax with regulations likely impacted you throughout the pandemic, but I can imagine how this can also impact our perception of the transition and how smoothly (or not so smoothly) we move through it.
Our different boats will likely affect how each one of us adapts to the transition.
For those who maybe haven’t been as affected, this transition may be “easier” (relatively speaking).
For those who may have experienced a significant loss, this transition may bring up new or increased feelings of grief because “normal” as they previously knew it no longer includes their lost job, lost loved one, etc.
If you are experiencing grief, or any other mental health related symptom, please know that it is ok and encouraged to reach out for help. Try Psychology Today, Good Therapy, Therapy Den, Therapy for Black Girls, or Therapy for Black Men to find a therapist or support group that is a good fit for you.
Anxiety
The uncertainty of the pandemic has brought new or increased feelings of anxiety for many people - which is totally understandable!
The pandemic, along with a lot of other events that took place throughout the past year, has been a collectively stressful, uncertain, unpleasant, and traumatic event.
It only makes sense that you, or someone you know, may be experiencing this even through the current transition.
Although we are adaptable, we have been put through a lot of changes since March 2020.
Again, with the spectrum of adaptability, some people may be at or past their limit for adapting to change.
Take a moment to check in with yourself. Honestly check in with yourself at least once per day to find out how you are feeling and to be proactive in tending to your feelings before they pile up.
With the socialization piece, you may also experience new or increased symptoms of social anxiety. You are absolutely not alone in this.
You may find that you’re nervous in social situations or around groups of people. You may be “overthinking” or thinking more about what others are thinking of you, worried about their perceived judgment of you.
After all of the changes in our social lives over the past year, it makes sense that you would feel this way. It may be temporary or it may last longer. Either way, you can find support with this with a therapist, support group, trusted loved one, community group, etc.
I currently have a really amazing support group of young adult women, and they have been able to open up about their own experiences with this and do a great job of validating and supporting each other through it.
If this sounds like something you would find helpful, I encourage you to reach out to me to join a future group or use one of the search engines that I listed above to find one in your area.
Socializing can be exhausting.
The pandemic, and everything that has come along with it, has been exhausting in many different ways.
When we’re exhausted mentally or emotionally, it can be difficult to find the energy to be social.
And in general, while some people feel energized by socializing with others, other people feel drained or exhausted by it. Maybe you used to feel energized or excited by socializing, but now you feel more exhausted or burnt out by it.
Due to the extended break from interacting with some people, you may have also had the realization that some relationships in your life are more draining than others and may feel the need to continue distancing yourself beyond the social/physical distance of pandemic life.
One of my lovely current groups members shared that she has been finding it difficult now that the vaccine has arrived and mask regulations are changing. I thought this was a great point that brought up another factor that may be involved here.
Previously, if someone asked to get together, you may have said that you didn’t feel comfortable due to the pandemic restrictions, and it was a nice way to maintain distance. Although you are definitely allowed to continue to say that and to say “no” at anytime, you may now feel more challenged to provide a different response when asked to get together (especially if you tend to experience social anxiety or people pleasing tendencies).
If you’re feeling the need for a break from socializing, honor that need. It is ok to need a break, and it’s important that you give that to yourself whenever it’s needed.
There is no right or wrong way to make your way through this transition. Each and every person is different, does things differently, and has to have their needs met in different ways.
If you’re not sure what you need or how you need it, try to take this as a time to learn more about yourself.
You can do this by writing / journaling, checking in with yourself more frequently, getting creative, talking to a mental health professional, and more!
Use tried and true methods that have worked for you in the past and try to be open to trying something new - sometimes the most random, seemingly “weird” things are the ones that help us cope the best.