3 Easy Ways to Reframe Your Thoughts

Our thoughts can go anywhere, and sometimes they can lead us into spirals filled with self-criticism, stress, anxiety, depression, and more.

Reframing your thoughts can be a great technique to assist you in having more helpful, productive, and positive thoughts.

This won’t happen overnight. It will take time and practice to become skilled at reframing your thoughts, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. As a bonus, there are some easy ways to get started, too.

In this post, I cover three easy techniques for reframing unhelpful thoughts. Before starting the techniques, it is important to gain awareness of identifying what types of thoughts you’re having and when you’re having them. Without this awareness, it will be hard to know when to use the techniques.

If you’re having difficulty identifying your thoughts, you may find it helpful to keep a written thought record. You can start by writing down just the thoughts that you’re having. You can then label these thoughts with what type of cognitive distortion they are (cognitive distortions will be covered in the next few blog posts). It can then be helpful to add what was happening when you had that thought (describe the situation) and emotions and behaviors you had at the time. Finally, you can also add a column to write down your alternative thought, which may be based on one of the reframing techniques described below.

Flip the What Ifs

Thinking of all of the possibilities of a given situation is very common, especially if you tend to experience anxiety. This can fall under the category of cognitive distortions called catastrophizing.

What if I don’t pass this test? What if they don’t like me? What if we break up? What if I get COVID-19? What if the plane crashes? What if aliens invade Earth??

One simple way of reframing these kinds of thoughts is to replace it with the exact opposite thought.

What if I do pass this test? What if they do like me? What if we stay together? What if I don’t get COVID-19? What if the plane doesn’t crash? What if aliens don’t invade Earth?

Try it out. Take a few moments to think the first set of thoughts. Pay attention to how those thoughts make you feel. Now, repeat the same with the second set of thoughts. You likely feel less stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed by the second set of thoughts.

Self-Compassion (& Focusing on Strengths)

Have you had self-critical thoughts? The answer is most likely yes. Most of us have had these types of thoughts at some point, but some of us may experience these types of thoughts more so than others.

These thoughts can be detrimental to our well-being. They can make us feel stressed, depressed, and anxious. They can destroy our confidence, which can negatively affect our relationships and daily lives. This is why it is so important to find ways to reframe these kinds of negative thoughts.

To help reframe self-critical thoughts, practice self-compassion and focus on your strengths. Reframe your self-critical thoughts with thoughts of self-kindness. Treat yourself like you would someone you love (because you should be someone you love, too!).

I am a failure because I didn’t finish my to-do list. —> I wish that I would have completed more tasks today, but I will give myself the compassion I need to feel okay about finishing my to-do list another day.

Self-compassion is a powerful tool but, because many of us are not taught how to be self-compassionate, it can feel very uncomfortable at first. It’s okay if you feel this discomfort. Continue to practice and it will begin to feel more comfortable.

Focusing on your strengths can be hugely helpful, as well.

My friend probably doesn’t really like me. Why would anyone actually like me? —> I am a good person / friend because I am caring, generous, and fun to be around.

Think About the Facts

Thoughts are not facts. This is important to remember. Often, our thoughts are not based in reality. They may be based on past experiences only or emotions that are skewing our perception of reality. If you find yourself in a negative, unhelpful thought pattern, try asking yourself the following questions:

• Is this thought based on emotion or fact?

• What is the evidence that this thought is true?

• What is the evidence that this thought is not true?

Clients have struggled with this technique at times when the current thought is based on past experiences. They have expressed having a harder time focusing on the evidence that it is not true because it has been true in the past. This is a valid point, and although it may be more difficult, it is still possible to use this strategy for this situation.

My partner is going to break up with me. I just know it. They are acting just like my ex-partner did right before they broke up with me.

• This thought is based on feeling distant from my partner and it is also based on past fact, something that happened in a different relationship.

• The evidence that this is true is that I experienced something similar with my ex-partner.

• The evidence that this is not true is that this is a new relationship. They are not the same people and just because it happened in the past, does not mean that it is fact now.

Often, when it is something based on a past experience, you may be able to identify more evidence that the thought is not true than that it is true. A past fact can cloud our perception of the present, and it does not mean that it is fact in the present. Although questioning and finding the evidence can be helpful in this situation, it is also okay if you have tried and don’t find it helpful. Thankfully, there are other ways to reframe thoughts that you may find are a better fit.

As helpful as reframing thoughts can be in many situations, there are some situations in which it is not. It’s important to address the limitations, as well.

You may find it’s not helpful in certain situations, but you likely won’t know this is the case until you try. If you try to reframe for a few minutes and it is not helpful, it’s okay to switch to a new strategy, but it also doesn’t mean that reframing thoughts won’t work for you at all. If you give up trying to reframe after only a few unsuccessful attempts, you may be missing out on a strategy that will be helpful for you in other situations.

Reframing is also not the best strategy for physical anxiety symptoms. Generally, managing physical anxiety symptoms involves a more active approach instead of a cognitive approach, such as physical movement, deep breathing, or physical grounding techniques.

As mentioned above, it takes time and practice for these techniques to become easier and possibly to feel like they are actually working for you. Try sticking with one technique for at least one week of consistent practice before switching to something different. Look out for more on cognitive distortions and other ways to in the next few blog posts coming your way 😊